Past Life Hauntings

I lost my father in 2014 in a very traumatic way. I still remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Sunday, September 21, 2014 to be exact. I was on my way to visit with my father to celebrate his birthday when I received a call from my stepmom. She told me in a frantic voice that her and my father had gotten into a very heated argument the night before, that he left on foot, angry, and never returned home. He had been drinking and so he wouldn’t have driven his car and most likely didn’t grab his phone in the heat of the moment before taking off. He had a temper. My stepmom did as well. At times, they had a very volatile relationship full of passion, anger and rage.

He was missing for a month. An entire month went by without a single sign of him. No credit cards were used for us to be able to track him. We passed out flyers, went to local places, contacted news stations. No one saw him and no one could provide any leads.The detective wasn’t much help as he was bogged down with several missing persons cases. I realized that the shows I’ve watched like Law & Order or NCIS, well, real life doesn’t work that same way.

And my father never once tried to contact me. After two weeks went by of not hearing from him, I knew in my heart he was gone. He was an incredibly tortured soul but he would have never left me in the dark like that. I knew…I just knew he must not be with us anymore.

It was mid-October that same year that a man found his body in a salt dome. A salt dome where they store salt for the winter. The autopsy report stated that his body had been decaying for about a month and the results came back “undetermined.”

I had no answers, no closure and was left to mourn him all alone as I was his only child. I was in denial for a long time. I was angry and became empty and cold. It took me years to fully allow myself to grieve him properly.

It took my past possessing me like a demon to fully begin the process of fully letting him go…

Past Life Hauntings

I was a witch in another lifetime A shaman A Cherokee medicine woman But I refused to journey back into that realm So my past possessed me like a demon I cut off all my hair for hours at a time I blinked and 5 hours had already gone by Chunks of my hair clogging up the sink This went on for months at a time As I sat there crying, wasting away in self-disgust Rotting from the inside out Too ungrounded and weak No appetite to eat or drink Couldn’t even sleep Lost the will to continue on Too consumed by grief Stories untold Lost my mind and my soul Let something else take over all control Until my brother traveled back in time with this message You are not a motherless orphan he said Heal your wounded womb Save your daughters Save your sisters Save your mothers Before the madness sets in Listen closely my dear You have a mission to fulfill Mother Earth is calling out to you Let her hold you in her arms Wipe away all of your tears Remind you there is nothing to fear Remember who you are, beautiful girl A powerful sovereign being As a defender of mankind Or so your name suggests We must also heal the masculine wounded heart To become one within This is not a battle of the sexes This is not male versus female This not about the color of our skin This is about equality in the deepest sense of the word Teach neutrality between the light and the dark Teach how balance can only be found by entering in through the chambers of the heart You will find me there For I Am you and you are me and we are one Remember to let love in Let it permeate your soul Breathe it in Become it Be it Then show them how its done.

-Alejandra Marie

Native American Mourning Ritual

I have a lot of Cherokee Native American blood in me on both my maternal and paternal sides of the family. I never learned much about this part of ancestral history as these traditions were not passed on and sadly, have been lost.

I found an amazing site, The Hair Shaman, where it goes into detail about the Native American tradition of cutting your hair to properly mourn and to free the spirit of a loved one.

“The act of cutting your hair is the cutting off of the flow of thought. You actually sever away past thoughts from future deeds. Cutting your hair usually occurs when one chooses to make a major change in ones life, putting past misdeeds behind them, and beginning a new/knew life. In native teachings, many tribes cut their hair during the mourning process, which symbolizes the deep wound to ones sensibilities caused by the piercing hurt of a loved ones passing.

Other tribes, remembering that they are spirits that live forever, cut their hair after a year of mourning. Symbolic of the severing of their ties, freeing the spirit of their loved ones, allowing them to enter the morning of the next world. Ready to start a new life, knowing they must respect and honor their loved one, they feast and urge their loved ones’ spirit on. Demonstrating their love for all life, they signal they too are ready to start a new day, a new morning. For in wisdom, they except the greater cycle of life. They know the body of their past love, was given back to the Earth and the spirit of their loved one, needs to return to the Sol/Star their spirits emanate from, to be re-aligned in the body of oneness, being reborn as their future and the renewed children of Earth.”

References:

https://www.thehairshaman.com/category/hair-shaman-wisdom/